If you want to start over, lose control
It’s like a massive black void sitting right in front of us.
It’s wide and gaping and terrifying.
… What if we take a step in the wrong direction?
… What will that mean?
… How will it look?
… What will people think?
We’re so afraid to step out of line, to get things wrong … to fail and have everyone see.
We’re being ‘mass motivated’ through the online world.
With everyone forced into the online world, there’s suddenly a global market at our fingertips.
With that comes an increase in mass marketing from every corner of the world, motivating us to ‘use our time wisely’, ‘pivot’ and ‘emerge’ from this crisis in a new and glowing form.
Most of us aren’t ready for that. Most of us are simply putting one foot in front of the other simply to survive right now.
There are so many of us that are hurting. So many with their lives turned upside down, living in fear of what might come next.
Our experience of life is unique to each of us. We each have different stresses, different lives and different reactions.
For some of us, our movement is restricted, our health is under threat, our jobs are up in the air, we’re worried about our family and friends and our freedom has been curtailed.
‘Normal’ life wasn’t working. ‘Normal’ needs to be redefined. We’ve been forced into wholesale change, we’re completely stressed and it feels like we have to overhaul everything and start again.
Listening to messages of motivation right now may be the absolute last thing you need.
But what if you could do things differently and it all turned out OK?
When things go wrong we cling desperately to a sense of control.
We think that if we can control what’s going on, we can minimise the overall impact … and that might mean we can make it hurt less.
But the tighter you grip, the more it hurts your hand.
Unwittingly, you create more chaos and more pain in your life when you tighten your hold and try to force or push your life in a certain way.
Trying to control whether challenges arise, and how they appear, is completely out of your contol.
If you change your perspective slightly, it’s possible to see that challenges come into our life as a way for us to take notice that there is something for us to learn. But here’s the thing: how you learn, how difficult it is and how quickly you absorb the lesson are all things you can make choices about.
Starting over doesn’t have to mean recreating every corner of your life.
Our conditioning has taught us that making changes in our lives is hard, and therefore not worth it.
Generally, beliving this makes doing even the smallest thing differently seem difficult, and it makes facing those times in life when change is forced on us seem almost insurmountable.
But recreating your life doesn’t have to mean you throw everything out and start again.
Often, there are one or two things that you can do differently that will significantly change the course of your direction.
Change doesn’t have to be hard – even when it’s forced on you without warning.
Asking yourself simple questions will always help you to find your way. Here’s a few examples to help you:
What are the three most important things in my life?
What do I need to do to make sure I have more of those things?
How can I have more of these things in my life?
Your answers are all you need.
It’s your answers to these questions that matter.
The more you ask others for their opinions, the more likely it is you’ll find yourself living a life that doesn’t match who you truly are.
When that happens, you’ll find yourself back in crisis, hanging on tightly and trying to control what is happening.
Start over as often as you like. Let your fingers relax their grip. Let control go and channel your mind to finding the answers that are perfect, just for you.
If you want some more questions that can help you to move forward in a different way, you can find loads in the articles and videos in my FREE email series – it’s a great way to help you begin your journey. Simply click here to start you on your way.
This article was first published on Thrive Global in August 2020.
Photo by Anastasiya Vragova from Pexels
LEAD WITH PURPOSE.